Forgiveness

"The recollection of an injury is...a rusty arrow and poison for the soul." St. Francis of Paola

     I've been thinking about forgiveness. Everyone has that one person that they pushed away or ignored at one point or another out of anger. Anger is what blocks us from forgiveness because it says that what you do to me, I will do in turn to get back at you. Then it becomes the cycle between two people, one hurts one, then one hurts them back, then they hurt them back. It never stops until someone gets up on the cross and consumes the anger and dissipates it. Not returning hurt for hurt, but instead spewing forth love. A great example of a Saint doing this is Blessed Mother Teresa.

One day Mother Teresa went to a local bakery to ask for bread for the starving children in the orphanage. The baker, outraged at people begging for bread from him, spat in her face and refused. Mother Teresa calmly took out her handkerchief, wiped the spit from her face and said to the baker, “Okay, that was for me. Now what about the bread for the orphans?”
The baker, shamed by her response, gave her the bread she wanted.

The point is not to flee, or to be a door mat for others, but to stand your ground and mirror the person back to themselves. To say, the cycle of anger ends with me. Love, bless, and pray for your enemy. Matt 5:46 "For if you love those who love you, what recompense will you have? Do not the tax collectors do the same?" The world tells you that they don't deserve it, that they won't appreciate it, that they will never change. But take Blessed Mother Teresa's word, "It was never between you and them anyway." It's between you and God, and God demands us to love our neighbor. 

So if there is a family member you haven't talked to in a long time, why don't you call them or email them and end it. Be the person that ends the cycle, dissipates the anger, and call them into a greater love.

I'm expecting my fourth child and caring for my little ones. Meanwhile I am always trying to grow so that I can help them grow, spiritually.

I love reading about being a mom while my 1 year old walks wobbly around the house. Such a precious gift each child becomes through life. I am so thankful.

Religious education classes start next week for my girls and my son will be visiting the church nursery for the first time. So many blessings, wish I had more time for this blog.

For now, just wanted to share this site:

www.mycup2yours.com

Osama bin Laden is dead

I am seeing too many Christians rejoice. Let us remember, that even our enemies were made in the image and likeness of God and that we are called to love them as well. Yes, his evil deeds are put dead in their tracks and that is good. But there are awful pictures of Osama's head being held by the statue of liberty and such hate. Christ is mourning over a lost, unrepentant, soul. Let us follow His example.

Ezekiel 33:11 Answer them: As I live, says the Lord GOD, I swear I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked man, but rather in the wicked man's conversion, that he may live.

Many also rightly worry about the aftermath from OBL's followers. We should do everything we can not to inflame their hatred by celebrating the wrong thing. I am so glad OBL will not personally carry out another evil deed upon this earth. I am glad that justice during judgment is being served.

But he was also someone's child. He crawled and cooed just like anyone else's baby once. OBL was still human and that part of him, apart from his evil deeds requires respect. His mother, Hamida, must be in agony. Not to mention countless widows and their children. Let us pray with compassion, mercy, and charity.

Aftermaths: http://www.ncregister.com/daily-news/abbotabbads-catholic-community/

ABBOTTABAD, Pakistan (CNS) — The priest at the small Catholic parish in this northern city says he has limited its activities after the death of al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden, the mastermind of the 9/11 terror attacks killed by U.S. special forces. “It is crucial to maintain peace for the scattered minority communities in the area. We alter the venue at the last moment to avoid leaking the information about the gathering in a tense atmosphere,” said Father Javed Gill.

Opinions: http://www.ncregister.com/blog/killing-bin-laden-catholic-perspective?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+NCRegisterDailyBlog+National+Catholic+Register#When:15:24:37Z

I was surprised that the Holy See had a statement so quickly and that it was so well done. This is what the Vatican needed to say, something that did not appear to let bin Laden off the hook morally but also did not appear to rejoice at his passing and that was an appeal for interreligious harmony and peace.

The statement that a Christian never rejoices at the death of a man is a positive affirmation that the Vatican needed to make. It’s also true in the sense that death as a physical evil is not to be wished upon anybody for its own sake. That is not to say that one cannot be glad that justice has been in some measure served, that bin Laden won’t be masterminding any more plots, etc.

Vatican Statement: http://www.catholicnews.com/data/stories/cns/1101730.htm

"In the face of a man's death, a Christian never rejoices, but reflects on the serious responsibilities of each person before God and before men, and hopes and works so that every event may be the occasion for the further growth of peace and not of hatred," the spokesman said.

The Vatican missionary news agency, Fides, reported that Christian schools and other institutes were closed and churches put on guard in Pakistan's main cities out of fear of possible repercussions on the Christian minorities there. Pakistani Christians are often identified in extremist literature with the West and the United States.

Natural Family Planning

Many of us, unaware of (Catholic) Church teaching, have used birth control. Either one method or another, chemical or barrier. Ultimately, many women have found birth control to be harmful or lacking sensation, or both. (for more information on how Birth Control negatively affects a woman see: http://onemoresoul.com/contraception/risks-consequences/what-a-woman-should-know-about-birth-control.html) Women then begin to question each other, "Which method works best for my situation?" If you've been on a women only forum it won't take long for you to spot these women. Thousands of them are searching for something. None of them are ever told to try Natural Family Planning. Why? because of the utter failure of the 'rhythm method', lack of knowledge about the newer effective methods, and many other myths and misconceptions. Basically, we are raised in a world that believes, "Unprotected (meaning birth control) sex is stupidity." Afterall, who would want to end up like the Duggars?! is usually the next exclamation. While there is nothing wrong with a large family, it is not for everyone and the Church recognizes that. We are not required to have as many as possible, but to space our children responsibly.

Before this can really continue, we need to read what the Bible and the Church teaches:

The Catechism of the Catholic Church

2368 A particular aspect of this responsibility concerns the regulation of procreation. For just reasons, spouses may wish to space the births of their children. It is their duty to make certain that their desire is not motivated by selfishness but is in conformity with the generosity appropriate to responsible parenthood. Moreover, they should conform their behavior to the objective criteria of morality:

When it is a question of harmonizing married love with the responsible transmission of life, the morality of the behavior does not depend on sincere intention and evaluation of motives alone; but it must be determined by objective criteria, criteria drawn from the nature of the person and his acts, criteria that respect the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love; this is possible only if the virtue of married chastity is practiced with sincerity of heart.156

2370 Periodic continence, that is, the methods of birth regulation based on self-observation and the use of infertile periods, is in conformity with the objective criteria of morality.158 These methods respect the bodies of the spouses, encourage tenderness between them, and favor the education of an authentic freedom. In contrast, "every action which, whether in anticipation of the conjugal act, or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible" is intrinsically evil:159

Thus the innate language that expresses the total reciprocal self-giving of husband and wife is overlaid, through contraception, by an objectively contradictory language, namely, that of not giving oneself totally to the other. This leads not only to a positive refusal to be open to life but also to a falsification of the inner truth of conjugal love, which is called upon to give itself in personal totality. . . . The difference, both anthropological and moral, between contraception and recourse to the rhythm of the cycle . . . involves in the final analysis two irreconcilable concepts of the human person and of human sexuality.160

2399 The regulation of births represents one of the aspects of responsible fatherhood and motherhood. Legitimate intentions on the part of the spouses do not justify recourse to morally unacceptable means (for example, direct sterilization or contraception).

And this is an infalliable doctrine (cannot be changed):

The Church also has affirmed that the illicitness of contraception is an infallible doctrine: "The Church has always taught the intrinsic evil of contraception, that is, of every marital act intentionally rendered unfruitful. This teaching is to be held as definitive and irreformable. Contraception is gravely opposed to marital chastity, it is contrary to the good of the transmission of life (the procreative.aspect of matrimony), and to the reciprocal self-giving of the spouses (the unitive.aspect of matrimony); it harms true love and denies the sovereign role of God in the transmission of human life" (Vademecum for Confessors 2:4, Feb. 12, 1997).

Also let's take a minute to observe the Bible and how God has worked through NFP in the past. Consider Who opens and closes a womb, mankind (contraception) or God (NFP)?

Genesis chapters 29 and 30: Jacob's wives Leah and Rachel

1 Sam. 1 Elkanah "loved Hannah" but the Lord had shut up her womb

What about the New Testament? We should not forget the case of Zacharias and Elisabeth, John the Baptizer's parents. "And they had no child, because that Elisabeth was barren, and they both were now well stricken in years...But the angel said unto him...Zacharias...thy prayer is heard; and thy wife Elisabeth shall bear the a son, and thou shalt call his name John" (Lk. 1:7, 13).

I am going to omit Onanism, because of the widespread confusion and the large cross-referrencing that has to be done to understand this chapter clearly. Isaiah 66:9 has God speaking that it is He who can close a womb.

1 Cor. 7:5 Do not deprive each other, except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, to be free for prayer, but then return to one another, so that Satan may not tempt you through your lack of self-control. What does that mean, to be free for prayer? Prayer for what? Discernment on spacing the births of your children. Doesn't it make perfect sense that you'd be praying if the time was right or not to concieve? And further, that you'd have to abstain during this time of fertility/ovulation until you were certain of God's will. I believe this is a biblical example of NFP.

So if I allow God to open and close my womb naturally (via ovulation or not ovulating), then it stands to reason that I can space my births based upon God's plan. That to me is the biggest thing. It is not my job to close the womb with contraception! This is the difference between spacing children via contraception or using natural family planning. The means, not the ends, is how it is morally decided.

Benefits and Effectiveness of NFP:

The Crieghton Model (For example) CrMS is 99.5% effective with perfect use and 96.8% effective with typical use. The WHO (World Health Organization) has performed several large-scale trials that have demonstrated an unintended pregnancy rate of between 0.3 and 3%, which is as good as any artificial form of birth control except sterilization. One very large trial involving about 20,000 Indian women showed an unintended pregnancy rate of less than 0.3%. The condom has a failure rate that is estimated to be between 10-30%. This means...you are more likely to get pregnant using condoms, then you are NFP.

When we say this is the best kept secret, that's no joke. NFP works and not just for women with 'special' bodies that have regular cycles and are some kind of 'exception' to the rule. Most women are irregular and use NFP sucessfully, including me. You are not 'taking chances'.

Benefits include (but not limited to): easy to learn, personalized for each couple, monitors a woman's health and teaches a woman more about their own body, no side effects, inexpensive (the price of paper charts and stickers, making them cheaper than condoms), can be used at any stage in a woman's life (breastfeeding), morally acceptable to God, respects fertility instead of treating it like a disease, promotes marital bonding, views children as gifts, involves the husband for support and decision making, encourages talks between spouses about fertility, the 'honey moon' effect (basically, after abstaining for a week, you feel like it's your honey moon all over again), helps prevent women from becoming solely an object of sexual gratification, no increased risk of cancer. Couples who use NFP have a divorce rate that is less than 5% far lower than the national rate of about 50%. And finally, it's green to NFP. Couples that throw away condoms or have hormones come out from the woman's urine (that we are not able to get out of the water supply despite techonology) harm our Earth, ourselves and our children (some say the fact that children consistently hit puberity sooner is caused by increased hormones in our water suppy), doesn't being able to recycle old charts and stickers sound so much more enviormentally friendly :)

Now the question becomes, not why would you use NFP, but Why would you not?!

For more info on the Creighton Model including where to find a teacher: http://www.fertilitycare.org/

Challenging

Evangelization and standing up for the faith is challenging. Sometimes you can place all your knowledge down and all the knowledge you've collected from others and very little is accomplished in the discussion. But there is still hope...you can be an example of your faith. Doing that by becoming all that God created you to be. Furthermore, you can add by studying your faith. If you don't have it, you certainly can't offer it to anyone else. Don't just try to collect the days' apologetics, but know the foundation of your faith for 'no other foundation can be laid'. 1 Cor 3:11 Don't expect that sharpening your arguments is going to produce faith in yourself or others. But expect that Christ will, pray! Faith is a gift (Ephesians 2:8) and if you feel your fellow neighbor needs it, don't ever hesitate or feel too foolish to pray.

I got caught up so recently in trying to 'do' myself that I forgot something so simple and so crucial...to ask my Father for help! We must come as children and ask for help...that is part of prayer. As a mother, it reminded me very much of my daughters learning to do things for the first time. If they attempted it, first, without coming to me...it wouldn't take long for the shouts of frustration to follow. I can come in almost instantly and say, "Let me help you. Next time just ask." And I think that is what God is calling out to me, to pray and ask for help. To become more child-like in my faith. To realize what is challenging for me to do on my own, is easier if I reach out to Him first.

Cussing is Sinful

Matthew 12:34-37: You brood of vipers, how can you say good things when you are evil? For from the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks. A good person brings forth good out of a store of goodness, but an evil person brings forth evil out of a store of evil. I tell you, on the day of judgment people will render an account for every careless word they speak. By your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."

Matthew 15:18 But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile.

Ephesians 4:29 No foul language should come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for needed edification, that it may impart grace to those who hear.

Colossians 3:8 But now you must put them all away: anger, fury, malice, slander, and obscene language out of your mouths.

James 1:26 If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, his religion is vain.

2 Timothy 2:16 Avoid profane, idle talk, for such people will become more and more godless,

Sirach 23:9 Let not your mouth form the habit of swearing, or becoming too familiar with the Holy Name.

Sirach 23:13 Let not your mouth become used to coarse talk, for in it lies sinful matter.

Confirmation

As most of you know...I am still going through times of abstinence and prayerful studies this Lenten season. I don't post every study I come across, but this one is particularly worth mentioning. The completion of Baptism, the sacrament of Confirmation.

Tradition describes confirmation as the "seal" of the Holy Spirit. In the ancient world, to bear someone's seal, or wear it, was to be identified as with that person, to be known as that person's child or servant. Confirmation marks us as God's own children. It confers a certain maturity upon us and empowers us to witness to the faith, defend the faith, and live responsibly within the Church. All these deeds are graces from God, and they do not depend upon our individual strengths or skills. Some western dioceses delay the sacrament until high-school matriculation or graduation, emphasizing that it is a sign of maturity, of coming into one's own in the Church. The Church teaches that confirmation, no matter when we receive it, "completes" our baptism. - Scott Hahn

Confirmation in the Bible:
They laid their hands upon them and they received the Holy Spirit. (Acts 8:14-17)
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me because he has anointed me (Is 61:1)
And when Paul laid (his) hands on them, the holy Spirit came upon them, and they spoke in tongues and prophesied. (Acts 19:6)

Effects of Confirmation:
Gifts of the Holy Spirit: wisdom, understanding, knowledge, counsel, piety, fortitude, and fear of the Lord
Fruits of the Holy Spirit: charity, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, generosity, gentleness, faithfulness, modesty, self-control, and chastity.

The Protestant Reformers, influenced by their rejection of all that could not be clearly proved from Scripture and by their doctrine of justification by faith only, refused to admit that confirmation was a sacrament (Luther, De Capt. Babyl., VII, p. 501).

I reflect back on my own Confirmation which is equally as big a deal as Baptism, since it completes it. My Godmother and Grandmother Joy (RIP) was my confirmation sponsor. But living states away she couldn't be there and had to have a proxy stand in for her, my mother. Sponsors, Proxies or Godparents must be Confirmed Catholics. (Which is why my mom was the only available Godmother for my girls, being the only nearby female Confirmed Catholic in the family. She will also be Godmother for our new addition.) There was a huge ceremony with my class (church group). We held candles and received the seal by the Bishop. We were then adults in the church ready to be soldiers for Christ to defend the faith. (2 Tim 2:3) I remember knowing the importance and receiving the fullness of the gifts and fruits. A good feeling. From that point on when the Devil came knocking, I was not a child in my faith but an adult. Stronger, more fortified. But I needed to learn to yield these gifts and that would not come for many more years. I had my sword (the graces), but I needed training. Still always training to fight the good fight. Lent is like boot camp, lol. And it never ceases to amaze me how all the sacraments tie into each other, you can hardly talk about one without mentioning some of the others.
Have you ever prayed to the Holy Spirit? He's the third person in the trinity, not just some kind of tool or instrument God uses. If you want to pray for His gifts and fruits, it is the Holy Spirit you should ask. The Holy Spirit is in charge of giving us wisdom, understanding, knowledge, counsel, etc. When you want to know His Truth, you should pray to the Holy Spirit and ask to receive it. (John 14:16-17, 26)

A verse I found and liked and very much related to the gifts/fruits of the spirit that enable us:
2 Tim 2:24 A slave of the Lord should not quarrel, but should be gentle with everyone, able to teach, tolerant, 25 correcting opponents with kindness